When you are stuck in a problem, it is often difficult to focus on something other than the problem. It’s a bit like when you’re lost in the forest and all you can think about is how many trees are around you. This may be what you are capable of for a while, but you will not find the solution. On the contrary.
Thinking solution-oriented means perceiving the trees and the space in between.
A forest is not only made up of trees, but also of spaces in between, which give you space to go out of the forest (and into it in the first place).
So the solution is to make you aware of this space, to get moving, and to find your way out of the forest and out of the problem.
Through openness to the solution
A problem is not just a problem, and certainly not an unsolvable something, but a situation that seems difficult to you at that particular moment and that triggers a variety of feelings in you. Be it fear, panic, sadness, anger, helplessness, etc. Problems are as diverse as you are. But no matter how difficult a problem may seem to you, the way out exists. What helps you: Openness.
Openness in this case means: opening yourself to the big picture; being open to possible solutions, even if they involve pain or discomfort; a yes to the solution and the way out; a yes to your pace.
Taking the pressure out
Problems do not arise in an hour, nor do they have to be solved in an hour. As if the problem was not big enough in itself, you also feel under pressure to get out of the problem as quickly as possible – preferably in under three minutes. However, the pressure increases the focus on the problem rather than calmly directing it towards the solution. Besides openness, calm is an important factor in being able to deal with the problem in a way that is appropriate for the problem.
A technical problem with the laptop requires a different solution than a problem that has been on our minds since childhood. Superficial problems have a different intensity than deeply rooted and ramified issues. Each problem therefore requires a different approach and each process has its own duration.
If you get involved in the process and give yourself the time it takes, you will emerge from the situation safely and at your own pace.
Perceiving the problem in its entirety
To find the solution, it is important to perceive the problem in its entirety. The forest does not only consist of gaps and not only of trees. Problems are also sometimes very complex, their origins are often far back in time and at first glance the connection is often not obvious, but it exists nevertheless.
Perceive yourself in your wholeness
In order to be able to recognise these connections, it is important that you also perceive yourself in your wholeness. Systemic connections, previous experience, resources in implementing the solution and everything that makes you up plays a role in your approach to the topic. It takes time, openness, honesty and courage to see yourself in your wholeness, to perceive your limits clearly and to accompany yourself on your way from the problem to the solution. With calmness and at your own pace everything is possible.
Courage, openness and time
If you feel that you really want to let go of a problem, then make the decision to do so and courageously open up to yourself and to the solution. The solution is not always gentle and soft. It does not always feel pleasant, but you know that the size of the forest is limited and the clearing is waiting for you. If you feel just a little spark of “I want”, then use that spark and ignite your inner fire that will support you on your way out of the problem (out of the forest). Only you can summon up the strength, only you can summon up the courage and only you have the energy to hold out until the end.
Each and every one has the power to lead themselves out of the forest. Often it is good to have the view and the view from outside, to be shown possible solutions, to get the weight off your soul. But it is always you who takes the path.
I know from experience how difficult it can be when you are in the middle of a process, but I also know how incredible it is when you suddenly step into the clearing and this metaphor suddenly becomes true and everything becomes clear. Difficult things become easy, incomprehensible things become understandable. And self-love becomes great. Great, because I am grateful to myself for having gone the way; because I have held out and because I was there for myself every step of the way.
As I have already written, only you can go the way. But I will gladly stand by your side. With an eye for the big picture, I point out connections, untie knots, point out dead ends and listen to you. It’s good to have someone at your side who admits your courage and strength. Someone who is deeply confident that you are going your way and someone who is completely committed to you and suggests solutions that are feasible for you. I find sweeping and non-negotiable proposals for solutions to be outrageous, because I know that I can only go as far as it feels good and right for me and that ten small steps can be more effective than one big one.
I am open to you and your path.