Not only clients and people in my environment, but also myself know them. These thoughts that get in my way on the way to the end of a project or simply in front of the mirror: Self-doubt.
They whisper to me that I am not good enough, that I still have to get better, further, higher and that I could always trust myself less than others. It would be weak to get out of a situation that is not good for me and stay in that situation until I have learned my part.
Yes, I know it all too well. But I also know the causes and the way out of the valley of self-doubt, into freedom; to feel good as I am, to trust myself, to implement my ideas, and to form a statement out of the question “Am I doing this? Because it is good.”
Doubts are like grains of dust. They are deposited from time to time on our thoughts, eyes and heart. But just as we don’t have to leave dust lying around, but can wipe it away, so can we handle our (self) doubts – again and again.
Let’s assume you have planned a new project. You know exactly what the end result should look like, you have everything you need to implement it, but after a while it feels tedious, you lose interest and at some point you put it on the back burner, because it doesn’t get you anywhere, it stops you.
How our doubts are expressed varies. Some feel them very clearly and can name them, to others they show themselves in the form of tiredness, listlessness, or are “abandoned by courage”. The solution in all cases is to find out the cause/root of your self-doubt and let it go with the help of decoupling. You have earned to be in your power!
Find out for yourself where the root of your self-doubt lies, make peace with it and go into the freedom of being you – without ifs and buts.
I would like to give you an example of a counselling session so that you know what I am talking about:
Claudia* is 35 years old, has problems at work and wants to know why she cannot stand up to her colleagues. During the counselling we come to the conclusion that in her childhood she always heard this one sentence: “Don’t even try it. This is something for men.” This sentence was unconsciously effective until that moment. If it is brought into consciousness, it can be changed. Claudia became aware that she could let go of this sentence and replace it with her own convictions.
In a visualisation I like to work with, we replaced this sentence with the encouragement of her environment.
Visualisations are “only” stories, but for our brain they are the same as if something really happened. These things work, just like negative beliefs that have been drilled into us have worked up to now.
They are small steps in the big field of self-doubt, but every change works.