In this article I describe my experience with psychological counselling, what it has done for me and what “side effects” have occurred. This is a report of my experience, which will be different for each person and is therefore not a generally valid statement.
In the past few years I have been confronted with various issues in my life: Moving house, changing jobs, ways to become independent, relationships, new cultures, traditions and family structures and between all the big things with many little things.
There were many phases in which even difficult circumstances were easy to master and then there were phases in which little things overflowed the barrel. There were moments when I felt that I had to go through a topic on my own and then there were moments when I realised that an outside, independent and empathetic person could help me to put my thoughts and events in order and to get the learning effect out of these situations. Whenever my inner voice called for help, I felt inside myself on which level the problem could be solved and arranged appointments accordingly. Personally, I confide in a handful of people with whom I feel comfortable and well advised; who are intuitive and sensitive and at the same time have a clear view of what is essential. I make appointments to get ahead and entrust myself to people I feel are working towards the same goal. For this I use the support of kinesiology, supervision and psychological counselling.
Why I have chosen these professions
There are a variety of directions and professions that support people. Because of this diversity there is something for everyone. That’s why I think that every direction has its right to exist, even though I don’t think everything is suitable for me. For me, a conversation with a person who is independent, clear, intuitive and direct is worth its weight in gold.
- I love being asked the right questions that lead me to the answer within myself. When I say the answer, many things become clear to me and the fact that everything comes from me encourages me a lot, because I know that I can always count on myself. It only takes the right questions and a clear view to find the answers.
- I am convinced of the strong effect of systems on us humans. If I understand the rules of systems, I can quickly filter out where the origin of a problem lies and solve it at the root. For me, psychological counselling is the treatment of the cause and not the symptoms and is therefore highly effective.
- What is also important to me is that I am always considered the highest authority in my life. In psychological counselling, it is clear that I live and act on my own responsibility and that at any given time I decide for myself where and how far I want to go. I do not commit myself to half a year of appointments, but decide from appointment to appointment when and at what pace I want to continue.
- Psychological counselling is process ASSISTANCE. Nobody takes anything away from me, but I develop my strength out of myself. I do not have to prove anything to anyone, but can grow at my own pace. This allows me to live at my own pace. I get clues as to what is holding me back, what has an effect on me and what entanglements exist. With these clues I can continue successfully – in my strength and at my own pace.
What “side effects” are caused by psychological counselling?
When I talk about side effects, I am actually talking about effects.
- If something is rearranged, it can create confusion. I often take that confusion home with me. But it also subsides as soon as the new thing is clearly in the room.
- If I break out of old structures, it can cause displeasure and evoke feelings that I do not (yet) know in this way and/or in their intensity. This can be frightening or uncomfortable.
- When I uncover structures and entanglements, I gain the ability to act. I feel that my own gains more space and meaning. This results in power and strength.
- I am aware that life is a river that never stops flowing until life ends. Sometimes I have the illusion that I can hold on to something (a situation, a relationship, a person), that I can stop the river from flowing on and change the happiness I have just gained in a situation. This holding on and standing against the river creates a traffic jam. This traffic jam can be unpleasant or even painful. As soon as I go into counselling, this congestion is considered and taken apart. It can flow again. I also feel this in the form of a feeling of freedom, breathing deeply, doors and gates open for me, it can go on, it goes on.
Psychological counselling makes sense when it feels right for you
I take advice when it is right for me. I am aware that some processes take longer and that I need someone to accompany me through them. I know that there are individual stages of the process – some of them I go alone, others in company. It is my conviction that every person has the strength to go. But sometimes I ask for the way. I always ask for the way when I have the feeling that I need someone to help me. This is not always the case for me in every process and at every moment.
Another point that is important for me to mention is that psychological counselling in itself does not change my life. I change my life. In counselling there are impulses, it is shown where the problems lie. Through OMT or other techniques, traumatic experiences in the brain can be replaced – this is a wonderful starting point for me to finally be able to start a process. Then it can be easier for me to walk, I can feel my strength better, etc. In any case, it is I who walks, decides and lives.
In counselling, the counsellor does not dictate where I go and how I get there, but I decide. Good counselling accompanies, it does not guide.
To come back to the title of the blog post: What does psychological counselling do?
- Take a breath
- Feeling of being lifted
- inner strength
I would like to take this opportunity to express my sincere thanks to the people I trust. They accompany without leading, they trust, they ask the right questions and have an eye for the essential.
They make me feel perceived, appreciated, accepted and able to let go, because I know that I can always trust them. Thank you.