In the dictionary, freedom is described as “a state in which one is free from certain personal or social ties or obligations that are perceived as a constraint or burden and does not feel restricted in one’s decisions; independence, unboundedness”. In my words, I would describe freedom as a state in which I am free to think and act as it feels right for me. A state in which I know and honour my boundaries and live my life as I see fit, while being true to and accepting of the boundaries of others. In my understanding, freedom describes a state of letting go and letting in. A plunge into the sea of people, expectations, rules, laws, desires and ideas that surround me, while always remaining true to myself as I navigate this sea. Freedom for me means living “mine”, on whatever levels that may be. For me, freedom lies in individuality.
Likewise, the path to freedom is individual. It is determined by how unfree we have become in the course of our lives and how free I want to be in the end.
The path to freedom is individual
Our lives are not shaped by our experiences from the moment we are born, but begin with our experiences in the womb. Traumatic experiences during this time are stored by the body in a holistic cellular consciousness. Prenatal experiences together with the experiences of our childhood shape our subconscious.
“Secure attachments are of great importance for our mental development. Our self-confidence, our ability to love and our relationship to the world are always also a response to the basic conditions we find during development. This is where the way we experience the world is formed.” (Bettina Alberti in her book “Die Seele fühlt von Anfang an – Wie pränatale Erfahrungen unsere Beziehungsfähigkeit prägen).
If we learn in our childhood in various ways that we are “not right” the way we are, we take this for granted and doubt our thoughts and actions from then on. We put others above ourselves and trust other opinions and actions more than our own. Individuality triggers insecurity because we have learned not to rely on ourselves but on others. Thus, every step towards freedom can trigger a resistance in us, because it has a dangerous effect on us.
If we grow up in an environment that promotes our individuality and our being, we learn that we are good and right, that we can and may speak our mind. Are we valued for the person we are. If we are securely bound, we go through life self-confidently, we let ourselves in for what comes and see the world as basically friendly, which leads to trust and away from a need for security associated with fear and blockage.
And then there are many nuances in between. Every person is born into a certain system and environment that shapes them. This means that every person has a different starting point and the path to individual freedom is different for everyone.
How do I reach freedom?
You reach freedom by dealing with what is holding you down – with the obligations and ties that you feel as a burden or compulsion.
- The current situation
In the counselling process I always make a detailed inventory of the current situation. We collect everything that is related to the obligations and ties that you feel as a burden or constraint. If you want to do this process on your own, it is best to get a notebook and write everything down. Take your time. This inventory can take days or weeks.
- The root(s)
Next, we look at the root or roots that lead to said commitments and attachments – with all their branches and layers. We bring everything from the subconscious into consciousness. It becomes tangible and thus changeable.
When you go through the process on your own, think about and write down where, when and how the said obligations and ties may have arisen and at what moment in your life you stopped being individual & being fully you. For whom do you live? For whom do you do what you do? Whose voice is louder in your head than your own?
- The detachment
So we work our way from the problem to the root and the associated programming and beliefs of the subconscious. Through visualisations (“healing stories”) the programming becomes ineffective and changed. What was difficult can now go easily. In addition, it is discussed on the conscious level so that the client can also deal with the issue consciously.
This point is a little harder to do alone than the other two. But it is about the moment of realisation, when you become aware of the why behind the programming and patterns and decide to do it differently. The unconscious becomes conscious and you now have the possibility to control it.
- The courage for the new
By leaving the known and deciding for your individual freedom, you decide for the unknown. This can cause fear and insecurity. By leaving the familiar, you leave your comfort zone. This is anything but easy. But: if you have already made it this far, you can still do it! Keep at it.
Embracing freedom
The moment when we reach freedom and suddenly have so many more options is one that is scary for many. What happens now that there is nothing stopping me? What happens when my desires come into fruition? What do I do now with all the success I have worked towards for so long?
Where is this liberating feeling that I thought would spread as soon as I find myself in this state of being free of certain personal or social ties or obligations that are perceived as constraints or burdens, and not feeling [any longer] restricted in one’s decisions or the like?
I can wish for many things and do everything to make them come true. Finally, one thing remains: to accept the result, to really say yes to it – be it freedom, happiness, love or anything else.
Everything in our life needs a complete yes. Only then can it unfold its full magic.
If you feel you can’t accept it, look again: Is there a belief system that is holding you back? Do you allow yourself to accept it? What else does it need?
As you may realise, with a little work you can achieve anything. I am happy to help you with this. Because sometimes the view from outside makes it possible to see connections that you don’t see yourself out of habit. If you would like to work on a topic – perhaps just this one – and would like support, please send me an email and arrange a free 20-minute meeting to get to know each other.
