You have a great idea, go out with it and boom – there they are: derogatory comments, doubts about your competence and your idea. The waves of hate in the net and also personally seem to overwhelm you and at some point it can even go so far that you retreat, devalue yourself and your idea and get away from it. That is a pity. Because so many ideas are not born because criticism hurts so much. Many heart’s desires are not lived, because the headwind is too strenuous and hurts too much. But there is always the possibility to learn to live with the headwind and to get your focus away from it and on your way.
You can always decide
From my own experience I know how painfully derogatory comments and nasty criticism can be. I know the (self-) doubts that inevitably come with them and the feeling of wanting to give it all up because I don’t think I can stand the pressure. I know that I can decide at any moment – to keep at it or to turn around. I don’t want to call it giving up, because that’s not it. It is turning around and returning to a safe haven, which is okay and understandable at all levels. There is only one thing it is not: necessary.
Give your voice a space
The art is to be able to feel something else under all the comments and opinions, the doubts and pain: your own voice. Because that is what made you try in the first place. It is this inner joy and the inner pull that brings you there, to create a concept and to go outside with it.
At this point you already have a path behind you. You have passed your own doubts, you have used forces to get to where you are now. Behind you lies a whole process of creation, a process of growth and you should be aware of this. You are not standing at the beginning and you are being overrun. You are right in the middle of it. It is perfectly legitimate to turn around and row back. But another possibility is to pause, to come to you, to reflect and to row forward again with collected strength.
You are important
Withdraw from the noise outside into your inner being, get in contact with this pull and the heart’s desire that brought you here and draw strength from it again. Nobody said it was going to be easy, but you said that you would do it. Stick to it. Turning back is only one of many possibilities and, I would like to emphasize this once again, a completely legitimate one. But if you feel the pull within you and want to go forward, then do it. You and your wish are always more important than the opinions of others.
Learn to surf
Fighting the waves makes as little sense as letting them roll over you. In both cases you will be disempowered. Instead, focus on your strength. Be aware of it and use it to stay on your path.
As soon as you do something where you get in touch with other people, you get in touch with their personal stories, systemic entanglements, opinions, dogmas, etc. You never face only one person, but everyone who works through this one person. You are not alone, but with your history, your systems, your beliefs, etc. You have power, otherwise you would not have come this far.
..and that’s OK. It’s allowed to jerk sometimes. Even if it hurts, even if it makes you cry. Even if it makes you think about quitting. All situations confront you with yourself, with your power and demand that you say yes to yourself and to your path again and again. In the end, that is all it is. Staying with it is a yes to you, going from the outside to the inside is a yes to you. If you break it down to this fact, then it might be easier for you to look forward again after each wave, to gather your strength and move forward.
- Don’t restrict yourself and your path, but that the comments can cause you to stumble.
- Don’t restrict your faith in yourself, but that you believe others more than you believe yourself.
- Do not limit your field of action because someone wants to take your place, but limit the influence that this behaviour has on you.
The reasons why hatred comes to you on the net or in person are many and varied. And you do not have to try to understand them all. Understand yourself, be aware of what you want, make it clear that you are powerful and go your own way.
It is certainly not the easiest of all tasks, but it can be done in any case.