“I can do that. I can do that. I can do this.”
And then I still can’t.
“I’m big, I’m strong. I’m big, I’m strong.”
And then I stand in front of my boss and I feel small and weak like a newly hatched baby bird.
“I am capable of having a happy relationship.” And already I’m sitting in bed crying after the next argument, running away in my mind with my suitcases packed.
What is wrong with me?
The answer is nothing.
You are exactly right as you are. And you act exactly the way you have to act. Because you act according to your inner convictions.
There is nothing wrong with you. But with the assumption that simply repeating positive thoughts can change your inner beliefs without being aware of them.
Because if the positive formulation of a thing does not find resonance in your subconscious, it cannot work.
Exaggerated positive thinking is usually a desperate attempt to change something you do not know what it is.
Subconscious vs. consciousness
95% of our actions are controlled by the subconscious. 5% we control consciously. If a consciously positive formulation is now confronted with all your (contrary) beliefs in the subconscious, without finding allies in it, it will be drowned in this flood. If the positive formulation finds allies, it can work.
The logical conclusion: explore the area and find allies to change my beliefs permanently.
The prerequisites for this: honesty, openness and a pinch of courage.
These words sound like struggle, but the process is a wonderful one.
As a first step, let excessive optimism prevail. He was never your friend and he never will be. It only hides your view of what is real and the chance to feel true optimism.
And now take the time and space to look at your issues.
The subconscious is a great store. There you will find every “you are too small” “you are not good enough” “you can do it” “I am proud of you”, etc. you have ever heard. Every experience and every feeling is stored and determines how you deal with the various situations. They act, so to speak, from the underground and are triggers for patterns of action, beliefs and blockades that determine our reactions and approach to issues at the moment. If we now place a positive sentence formulated from consciousness about these patterns, we cover the unpleasant part, but we have not changed the unwanted pattern behind it at this moment, as we normally have not yet fully recognised it. If we get into a situation in which our subconscious takes over again, we fall back into this hole from which we have supposedly gotten out with a well-intentioned, positively formulated sentence.
In order to come to a long-term dissolution of the pattern/belief/sentence/blockage, something else is needed: Acceptance and reflection.
It requires that the child is once called by its name, that it is looked deep into its eyes and that it is seen in its full extent.
It takes calm and serene analysis and reflection of the situation to recognise in which areas exactly this sentence, this pattern works or blocks us. For only when we are aware of the full extent of the problem can we find an appropriate strategy to reach a solution. Only then can we leave the real issue behind and truly liberated and positive take the next steps.
If you feel small and weak in relation to other people, then you can filter out the situations in your subconscious that trigger these feelings in you and consciously change them. This is the moment when positive affirmations actually start to work and you free yourself from this feeling. It is the time when you are no longer controlled but steered. In simple words: You go into your power.
That is where you belong.
Being in your power means being able to act. It means getting up from the back seat and changing to the driver’s seat. Then you no longer need excessive optimism. Because then you are authentic. And then you can be optimistic from the heart, because that is the way it really is.